You are mine ~ unlike no other, no Lover, friend, husband, step-child, or, if so ever blessed, a mother yourself. You grew in my body along with dreams of your life. Hope grew that you would arrive healthy, all ten fingers and toes. How I longed for your arrival, and feared the unknown labor too.
No one carries the pictures of the past I have of you in my mind, and those images of the future I carry in my heart. The most important role I’ve ever played is that of a mother; wholeheartedly. And, in spite of whatever storms our oceans of beings have ebbed and flowed, many of the times out of sync with one another, all still within the current is Love. A Love so great that every kind act, even those extended beyond to those you care for, every generosity, every boundary that may have felt to you like a withholding or punishment, every plee, has been a prayer made real.
“When you look upon someone without the sins of the past they are indeed born again” My truth is a continual prayer of hope for you. There are no daggers from these acts. No wish to inflict guilt, and I let go of my own past guilt for not having an awareness I had not yet grown into or matured. I own my own misguided chocies because of a lack of parenting education, loneliness and, at times, desperation. Now beyond hurt and anger, when in that ocean of emotion I would disconnect, resist the poems that would flow from me, or the musical message tributes I would mix, and the hope.
I hope for you, I give thanks for you, I pray for you, I send beLoved ancestors in dreams to you, I trust for you. To say I Love is a weak word, if said only as a word. My Love for you is as powerful and deep as God. As whole as creation itself with the milenium of the universe. It is eternal, and will never die~even after my body is gone.
Although, Khilil Gabran says: “They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you” When you suffer, I suffer, when you struggle, I sturggle, and when you find true real just happiness the cord that teathers our hearts will relax.
*Inspiration, influence of ideas, along with quotes from: A course in Miriacles, To Bless the Space Between us, The Prophet.
(Written for her 33rd. birthday ~ slipped into a photo album, I made for her, 3 1/2 years later)